First day of school

The day i was looking forward to with anxiety and emotions has finally arrived..My lil champ's first day of school !!

I left him at school with tears in my eyes. It was the very first time i am leaving my champ with someone else. He has never been away from me for such a long period of time with an exception of staying with his grand parents. But, that is different, he was home and among the people he knew and loved. Today he is with unfamiliar people, in unfamiliar surroundings and just thinking of that really makes me emotional.

I was looking for this milestone from a long time. I repeatedly told him for past two days that he is going to go to school. But it seems, he never could understand it. Or he could? I don't know. Thank god he didn't cry when i left him at school. He started to play with the toys. It's me who was crying. I didn't have the heart to leave him there. But trying to be a strong mom, i left him there with a smiling face.

I know sending him to pre-school is the best thing for him and for me. He is so ready to make new friends, grow socially, emotionally and get his first taste of independence. Thinking about all these i couldn't sleep properly yesterday. Was worried a lot. I don't know how he would accommodate to the new environment. How he would manage to cope with his peers. I don't know whether he would cry for us or feel happy to see many toys and his age old kids.

This day also feels an important day as it is just the first day of his next many years of schooling. Soon he will progress to kindergarten, then full day schooling and then eventually he will progress to college where he may even have to live apart from us. But wait, let's not go there. Today i am way too emotional to even think about all that. 

After reaching home, it seems and feels empty without my baby's presence. To divert my mind, I started to get into some work. But, each and everything reminds him and i wonder what he might be doing now? If he is at home now, i couldn't even type this. Now the clean calm house seems haunting than pleasing. Chairs and tables are waiting for him to be dragged by him. The kitchen counter is waiting for him to sit and watch my cooking. The beds look tidy and sad without anyone jumping on it. I am looking his face everywhere. His smiling face repeatedly flashing in front of my eyes.

What he would be doing now? Scared? Crying? Playing with the toys? Or still expecting me at his class door?

I miss you ra Abhi. I love you so much. I don't even want to leave you for a second. But, as i know, my blind love shouldn't be an obstacle for your growth. This challenge is for your better development. I hope you will blossom into an amazing boy. I can't even type more as my vision is blurred with tears.

Miss you so so much. Waiting for the clock to strike 12:30 for your arrival!!