Stop telling women to tolerate emotional abuse for the sake of harmony and peace in the house!!
Because for you, he didn't hit her.
For you, emotional abuse is not an abuse!
He doesn't hit her, but she is scared everyday to ensure he is satisfied enough to remain calm and happy.
He doesn't hit her, but he steals her sense of comfort and security leaving her paranoid and crazy.
He doesn't hit her, she doesn't have any physical scars to show but she has emotional scars - but whom i am kidding - you don't care!
Every time she tried to raise her voice against the emotional abuse, you tell her -
"Don't provoke him! Why do you do things to get him in a bad mood?"
"Why can't you just be silent when he is in a bad mood?"
"Don't say anything..please don't ruin the peace of your house!"
As you told her, she stayed silent everytime she faced the emotional abuse. Because - to maintain the peace in the house!!
But with every passing day, the accusations, the verbal abuse, the name calling, the never ending criticisms about her, her work, her duties and responsibilities, her sense of self scraped away.
From being a self confident young woman, she slipped into a self hating victim who had no one to listen to her.
You made sure she suffers in silence to maintain the peace of house. But here's what you didn't know what emotional abuse did to her!
With continuous emotional abuse, she lost her sense of self. Without knowing that the consequences of emotional abuse are just as severe as those from physical abuse, she stayed silent.
So next time, when he puts her down, she believes him. when he says it was her fault, she believes him. Consequently, she started to agree with him and became internally critical. She got trapped and started believing that she will never be good enough for anyone else!!
You refused to see, how he made her feel emotionally weak and helpless.
You refused to see, how he insulted her and crushed her confidence!
You refused to see, how she was made to live under constant fear, anxiety and vulnerability.
You refused to see, how he puts the blame of everything that goes wrong in his life on her.
You told her to believe you. You told her to believe that it wasn't an emotional abuse because arguments and fights happen in all marriages. You told her his bullying behaviors were the result of her own mistakes - She provokes him!
She was made to believe you that she was not the victim but the problem. And sadly, she believed you for a while.
But for women, who feel the emotional pain, i have a message for you..
Don't let society tell you any lie. Don't listen to them! Don't blame yourself. You may have done everything right but still, the other half made you feel that you are at fault. Don't tell yourself it's okay. Do not apologize for their mistakes. Do not let them tear you apart to build themselves higher!
You are worthy of love happiness and respect.
Please don't wait for them to change as they carelessly rip apart your soul and self confidence. Please don't tell yourself it's ok or ever get yourself get used to it.
DO NOT LET THEM BREAK YOU!!
